The Oscars Far Less Interesting than Fred Durst's Penis
It's true! Fred Durst's bland penis actually tops all the excitement from last night's Oscars, which were a snoozefest. X-tina should be present at all award shows and host the entire night and dance in the corner of the screen during commercial breaks than maybe the Oscars wouldn't be as lame as Aaron Carter (who better watch out!). It was interesting that they sweat Beyonce so much, or maybe I was watching a Destiny's Child concert. With Beyonce, Chris Rock and Star Jones playing major roles in the festivities it seems America is finally realizing that white people are boring (myself excluded) but even they couldn't save the night. Ya know what could have improved the night? Ritual sacrifice of the Riverses (I know cheap cliche shot, but still a good point).
In short: Oscars 2006 All NUDE!
posted by --Robert-Campbell-- @ 3:09 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Excuse me, whoever you are but you are so not supposed to be looking at Fred Durst's penis. Only I have access to the hot skinniness of that penis, as is evidenced my the fact that he wrote me mushy love letters all the way from the MOUNTAINS. You should know that by now because all my emails from him were published. And they were HOT. I also have a mystery question for you about my emails: who was the jess that was trying to bone JT? I heard that some people are saying it's jessica simpson! But I'll never tell.
PS. Fred Durst is starved for attention. That "release" was no "accident", if you get my "innuendo".
Actually the plans for next year is to have six hosts at the beginning of the night, and then one by one as the evening progresses, America votes them off. And then the last host gets to say goodnight and make out with Winona Ryder and/or Jared Leto. Actually, that doesn't sound half bad. Also, instead of having Beyonce sing all of the songs, all of the girls that have been kicked out of Destiny's Child will see a song, and then America gets to vote on whether or not they're any better than Michelle Williams.
I think you've covered this, but why isn't it Destiny's Children? Or Destiny's Daughters? Why is it singular? I mean, we already know that with the exception of 2 members, everyone else is interchangeable. Also, do you think when they kick a member out they blamed it on Destiny?
"Destiny doesn't want you to be its child anymore. Destiny thinks you should go...and stop staring at Beyonce like that, you're just jealous."
PS Dear Doctor Campy,
I think this married girl in CO is hitting on me through my blog. Does that have any connection with the horrible burning sensation in my crotch, or is that because I ran out of topical cream?
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