Saint X-tina?

• Fresh from the nunnery, Sister Christina Aguilera has announced that she would like wedding guests to donate to charity rather than give her that blender she so desperately needs. Though nuns can not marry, the parish decided that X-tina is a wild nun and can not be tamed.


• Thank God! Lindsay Lohan went back to dark hair!!! [Click for Pic!] And I think this means the original Lindsay is finally fighting off the demon that possessed her body right after Mean Girls, immediately depleting her energy source, those huge tits, and controlling her body until now. I have seen a lot of movies and peeps usually change hair color/style when they change from good to evil, or back again. Once those two basketballs that were grafted to her chest return, we will know Lindsay has finally defeated the evil spirits within. PS: by "demon" and "spirits" I might mean colossal coke addiction, but I'm not sure.


• Has anyone heard this shit about not talking on the cell phone next to a gas pump? Way to tell me like 5 years too late, pumping gas is so boring I can't think of when I haven't been on the phone when pumping it. And I am certainly not going to stop... pumpin' it... and pumpin' it. The price you pay for a world of instant gratification and constant entertainment is that every once and a while one of those devices goes nuts and kills you. This is why I am pro-robot as well. If we develop robots, it will still be a few years before they are smart enough to take over and by then I will be dead suckas! But I will have enjoyed some crazy adventures with my robot slave, like instructing him exactly how to build my mansion and the proper to way to chloroform a stripper and then drag them back to said mansion.


• Sometimes, in everyday-speak I will say something "drops at the ten spot" and I feel a little bit of shame.


• Oral Jelly is a ketchup packet for erectile disfunction, go ahead Google it!


• Tom Sizemore, some F-lister (he might not even be famous) is claiming he banged Paris Hilton and taped it, which sounds reasonable. And for once Paris is insisting she didn't have sex with someone. Though in her defense it wasn't "someone", it was a whole group of guys.


• This week on Posh.Becks, NIck & Jessica's Trip Around World: Posh and Becks are lagging behind because they keep insisting they have bloody tea and scones and shit. The Lachey's are not much better off though, Jessica's eye whitening has left her almost completely blind and Nick has been in a London pub for two days watchin' sports.