Pure Prattle's Fashion Dos & Don'ts

Don'ts

• Bright warm colored sneakers, this includes yellow orange and yes even red. A hint of these colors brightens up any sneaker, but a big field of it's no good. It's just too much attention on the foot, too much.


• Potato sacks, not flattering.


• Cowboy boots with a sun dress. Who thought this one up? Jessica Simpson I bet, she's retarded.


• Any article of clothing under $100.


• Pleats!!! Not only do they hide "the bulge" but they create another unflattering one around your entire waist as if you were almost wearing a hoop skirt, but then no, it's pants.


• No Fear.


• Oversized sunglasses. I get the movie star big glasses thing, but when they come down to your lips, there's a problem.


• Peat Coats with wood cylindrical buttons, know what I mean? with like a felt type texture, sort of a Shirley Temple collar, you guys know the ones.


• Boat shoes, weegins or loafers


• Wearing gym clothes all day long, we get it, you work out.

Dos

• Get skinny, fat people never look good in clothes.


• Hoodies! It's the perfect fall through winter look for men. They are comfy and they have a hood for burgling.


• Thigh-high boots. Any old slut looks like a model wearing these. I'm serious.


• Fur. It shows you know how to hunt a kill... a good bargain at Niemans.


• Emulate celebrities in every way, that's the key to looking good. If Paris Latsis is going to wear graffiti pants a denim and checkered maroon flannel jacket, then I'm going to roll out of a hamper from 1989 too.