"Lucy, I'm Home!" "Ricki, You Got Some Spainin' To Do!"

Hey ya'll! I just got back from Tennessee where I helped this little lady below (my cousin Libby) get married. I was a groomsman and l had very important duties which included walking and standing and some sitting down. It was a blessed affair and all were pleased. The down side is I had no internet for like 6 days, damn you TN!

The Last 6 Days....

• Britney Spears pretends not to notice that she is trashy and the public pretends like we want to hear what she has to say so we can make fun of her later for it. "There's so much nasty stuff out there for moms-to-be. I can't work out why stores don't sell funkier stuff [fucking shit bitch]" says Britney, to which I say "are you talking about whore nasty? cause clearly you have managed to find those clothes." And I also say to Britney "'I can't work out why...'? Where did you come up with that one? Like I get what you're saying but that is an entirely inappropriate use of those words." Of coarse Brit replies "fucking shit bitch ya'll."


• Weight and celebrities is becoming a daily surprise, you never know whose going to go off the deep-end one way or the other. Except for Miss Piggy, I mean, Courtney Love, I could have told you she would get fat. If she's not doing drugs she's going to eat, she needs to be constantly entertained like a four year old.


• Angelina Jolie's two babes (Brad and small girl) have both been recently hospitalized and are now fine. Finer still is that fox Angelina.


• The wedding if off according to Paris Hilton, whose cry for attention is boring. Nicole Riche on the other hand had a star studded engagement party. I am sure she looked great, but she still doesn't get that you can only be that skinny if you have breast implants. So get to it Nicole.


• Pamela Anderson considers marrying Tommy Lee's cock again, then decides to cut it off and graft it onto anybody else.


• Did you know the Smurfs started in 1958?! The original concept art was actually done by Jesus.