Tons of Gay References!!!

• These two ball players dove into each-other's faces while furiously trying to make out during a baseball game. Maybe if they weren't so gay and had their eyes on the correct ball none of this would have happened. This is why there are no gays in professional sports, cuz they can't stop thinking about butt-sex for two seconds and play the game. At least I know that's why my pro-dreams were shattered.


• A giant waterfall was discovered in a Cali national park and no one noticed because...? ...it was too big? Looks like there are some park rangers that are sljacking off over there. Where was this park again?


• The talk of the town today seems to be Miss Courtney Love and her bra and panty antics. Whilst at the Pam Anderson roast she thought it would be a good idea to be a fucking crazy person because that's the only way she's interesting. And part of being a crazy person is exposing your privates and imitating oral sex. Trust me, I know; I'm a fucking crazy person.


• Heath Ledger is not only super hot, he is super dumb. He leaves gorgeous Namoi Watts and then dates Sarah Plain and Squat, Michelle Williams. He gets her pregnant and now has to marry her and therefore doesn't get to marry me. Bad move, Heath, I'm a tiger in the sack too. When will you learn huh? When?!