Sup My Dogs!

Posts have been few and far between due to super cool grad school Apps, but that just means I only dish the best most-exclusive juice now. Think really expensive smoothie.

• I have some pretty upsetting news about Micha Barton that you guys aren't going to like. It seems she had her period (which is weird because i thought girls under 12, or girls with bodies of girls under 12, don't get their periods. huh. weird.) In addition, her menstrual fluid seems to have leaked through her panties (assuming she was wearing them) and white drawstring pants. I just wrote some stuff that made me physically ill, so
  I deleted it and will just stop here. [The Pic in question]


• This chick "Jordan" [careful some titties in this link] has been getting a lot of attention recently. She is almost an exact brown-haired clone of Tits MaGee, aka Pam Anderson. Why would anyone want a brown haired version of Pamala when there is already a blond version? I mean when you got triple Fs don't top it with mousey brown hair, unless of coarse you like second place. But don't worry Jordan, I hear you take home the gold in the town-bike competition; BTW, winning a slut contest against Pamla Anderson prolly means you have two vaginas.


• MC is blowin' up and you can bet the tabloids have taken note. It is almost cruel the way the gossip sites are blanketed with all these morphed images of her looking like a Christmas ham. However she could lose some weight. She needs to follow the diet outlined in my new book, Recycling Calories: Eating Your Throw-up.


• Pink and Carey Hart have gotten married proving once and for all they are really committed to the lie. When your girlfriend beats you at arm wrestling and you get upset when she uses your special conditioner that makes your metro-bob oh so silky smooth, there is a prob. What I am saying is these twos is gay.


• Hostel is numba one at the box office. Nelly is pissed. But seriously folks, why would you wanna see a movie about torture? Am I the only one that finds torture unappealing?