Merry frickin' Christmas okay!

Let's see what delicious presents I go for Hollywood's A-listers this year....

• Nicole Richie: a walker and/or a juice box


• Paris Hilton: vagina wash


• Heath Ledger: my phone number


• K-Fed: sweet sweet death


• Gwen Stefani: chocolate covered pickles and a donut and peanut butter sammich


• Oprah: a NEW CAR! Oh MY GOD! ahhh!!! *screams* I can't believe it! *shrill house-wife shrieks* ah!!!!!


• Anna Nicole Smith: something slutty


• Mel Gibson: a slice of humble pie


• Tom Cruise: a chill pill


• Mariah Carey: a dose of reality


• Christina Aguilera: some glasses (boy is her hubby fugly)


• Collin Farrell: shampoo and gift certificate to Super Cuts


• Posh Spice: some batteries since she is 65% cyborg


• Jude Law: 12 nannies nannying


• Bobby & Whitney: duh, crack of coarse! -from Nordstroms, don't worry Whitney I kept the reciept


• Jessica Simpson: blond hair dye and profolactics


• Nick Lachey: my phone number AND naked pictures of myself with NICK carved into my bloody chest.


• Justin Timberlake: a microphone and some blank tapes. Start doing something JT!