Who Would Jesus Do? Groupie Sluts?
- Do you like your mind the way it is? or do you wanna blow it? Well for a document more "mind-blowing" then Paris Hilton's diary click here to see a contract some douche actually tried to get his fiance to sign before their marriage. It mainly involves her being naked at certain times and having butt sex with him on command. It is both hilarious and profoundly disturbing. It's a must click!
- Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but this guy Scott Stapp is in Creed right? and Creed is a Jesus band, right? While I don't know exactly what Jesus would do I doubt he would get wasted and talk about his penis size at an airport bar after his wedding, however Jesus would prolly demand to be in first class. But unlike Scotty I doubt the airline staff would kick Jesus off the plane and arrest him. [full story on Scott Stapp being a drunken mess click here] So Scott isn't the best Christian and a huge hypocrite but can you really blame him for making a sex tape featuring some groupie sluts giving side-by-side BJs to him and Kid Rock. I mean haven't we all been there. The sex-tape, which has yet to make it's full premiere on the web, is said to have the two musicians gabbing to each-other during their "servicing" like hens at a hair salon. I just hope they don't spend the whole time talking about pubes like Colin Farrell, that was gross.
- Project Runway is down to the final 3 and I think they are all respectable. That's right even Santino (who's my myspace friend, jealous?) Santino might even be my fav, but I like that whole "caught in the garbage disposal and fell into some glitter look", cuz that actually happens to me surprisingly often.
- It was pretty obvious that TomKat was all a show, PAINFULLY obvious. So when Life & Style released a statement saying it was over/was always one big lie, I felt relieved and soothed. But of coarse the TomKat is denying these rumors because denying is what they do best. And you know what, I am stopping right here, I am done with them, they are herby banished from PopBarf until Cruise can admit to being a huge fag!... and annoying!
- Spears says she wants to get back in the spotlight (well in the spotlight for being a musician not a huge mess). She is ready to fill what she describes as a "lull in pop", which I am pretty sure is a misquote. I think she meant she's out of soda, so watch out people she gets real cranky w/out junk food.
- A slimmer Kelly Ozbourne hair is is falling out. Justice is served. But seriously congrats to those 2 Ozbourne kids for losing all that weight, too bad they did it AFTER they were on national TV for 3 years looking like Weebles.
- ps: look forward to PopBarf HangGuy game and a PopBarf LOST page... sound delicious? well it is!
posted by --Robert-Campbell-- @ 3:09 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
It's so funny that you incorporated that marriage contract in your column, because I think it is a rip-off of something I came up with like ten years ago for this guy I was sorta seeing. Needless to say, we had personality differences that really couldn't be sorted out over a few cocktails and some spanking, as with my other, many, suitors. Here's a sneak peek at my very reasonable list of demands:
1. shave your pubes into the face of a different US President every week, and don't bitch to me when you run out of presidents, that's not how mama plays
2. Wear my underwear, and my underwear only
3. Make me a sandwich
4. Wash your balls after you make me a sandwich, not before or during.
5. Anal whenever I want it
6. Read me a bedtime story
7. Never shout out other chicks' names during intercourse, unless it's a holiday, and then you can yell out the first letter of one chick's last name, as long as it doesn't start with T.
8. Lube is for pussies (this is open for interpretation on a need-to-know basis)
9. Wednesday night is Blockbuster night
10. No skiddies in the toilet bowl, or your women's underpants for that matter.
perhaps Scott Stapp and Kid Rock can spend thier sex video gabbing about ways to shave Colin Farrells pubes into the face of a US president. (Then again they could talk about ways to SHOVE Colin Farrells pubes into the face of a US President, any bids for which President??)
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