Pop Barf: Fresh Meat Update: 'Sodes One and Two

'Sode One

Worlds collide on the premiere episode of the challenge as those who have earned their dues -by experiencing at least one season of invasive reality stardom- are introduced to those who have no idea what they're getting themselves into. Then they pair off into hetro groups so they can all breed or something. I feel like they chose some good couples; highlights include:

Katie & Eric

These two are terrible competitors, I am sure they can drink and smoke like none other, but when it comes to the intense endurance and psychical finesse of a mission they'll crumble. Thank god the Austin cast is there to distract everyone from the fact that Katie and Eric are so terrible, or they would get voted off right quick! or would they? Would you not want to be rid of the best teams and keep terrible people around so you could easily defeat your opponent at the end? Team SuperCoral better hope they never lose or their asses is going in...

Speaking of Which... Team SuperCoral

Team SuperCoral consists of Coral and Superman (Evan) and they are apparently unstoppable, Evan looks kinda like Britney Spear's new manny by the way.

Johnnie & Tonya

I am pretty sure this guy is psychically abusing Tonya. He fer sure is already emotionally abusing her. She needs to goto a shelter, there is something wrong with this guy!

Breakdown

So team SuperCoral wins the first two challenges, the others scoff - Danny and Ev & Wes and Blond-Girl go into exile - Danny and Ev suck the big one and go home - We never get to see what would have come of Ev's pouty drunken lesbian antics - I think we all get a little sad - however it put the ball in motion for the steady and efficient demise of the Austin cast, those bitches.

Second 'Sode

Things take a turn for the serious in the second 'sode when Diem tells Derrick she is battling cancer and has come on the challenge right before starting treatment. I am glad she has Derrick as a team mate, as drunk as he is he seems like a good-hearted guy. And I smell love connection.

The challenge is forgettable yet again; all of them so far have been the same basic test of strength and balance, perhaps that's why Coral and Evan keep winning, cuz they win this challenge too. Eventually the other meat-heads there, especially the ones with anger problems -I'm talking to you Johnnie- are going to snap and kill these two. Who knew Coral was that athletic?

Coral and Evan chose Melinda and Ryan to go into exile, which is fine with me, they are pretty useless. It's probably best to get the gays off the show as quickly as possible anyways. You never know who they might recruit through the TV with their "mind waves".

The rest of the cast begins to chose Johanna in but Wes comes to her rescue with an obnoxious display of self-importance complete with a insolent soliloquy about how he couldn't live with himself if Johanna went in and other cliches he barfed up. So now Wes will be competing in "the jungle jam" again and every time until he goes home probably.

Good luck Melinda and Ryan, I hate you less! Can they both go home? Perhaps we could replace them with two Brads....