Lil' Kim Goes to the Big House And Other News (plus gay rumor du jour)

• Lil Kim will be Berken-less for 366 days as she experiments with lesbian sex (without a room full of guys watching) in the slammer. Who knew she was even in trouble? Sure she's always going to court, but she's been doing that for years now. Next time I expect the media to alert me that she could have been serving 20 years in prison (thank god it's only a year cause no one wants to hear a 50 year old rap about their privates). Apparently the media finds Lil' Kim boring and don't think anyone would be shocked about her conviction. Well I'm shocked Kimmy, what did you do again? something about lying to someone about something? She prolly gave an incorrect figure of licks that it would take to get to the center of her uunhh.


• Gay Rumor of the Day: your Dad!!!!!


• Yea, terrorist attacks are back! Let the mass hysteria begin again!


• Ashlee Olsen wants to be a hipster. Do hipsters where hippy frock baby doll dresses? Well, they do wear a lot of bangles and the Olsens got that covered.


• Paris and Paris continue their pursuit to becoming America's Next Top Vapid Idiots


• Angelina adopts a small rice village and still has time to look great, how does she do it? witchcraft? wait a minute that explains a lot.