News Flash: Teens/Children Missing!!!

I hope that if I get abducted everyone makes a huge deal about it and raises awareness about Pure Prattle and the fine investigative media-insidering I have been doing.

These investigations include but are not limited to:

• The Miz is moving on to pro wrestling where he belongs. I guarantee this means more of the Miz voice, ya know the weird one he uses when he says tough-guy-pump-you-up things.


• Esthero releases their long awaited debut album (well one a half albums), what took them so damn long. For those of you not familiar perhaps now is a good time to sample some tracks.


• Matha Stewart confessed that she totally sweats Jon Stewart. I smell another Brangelina Aniston tabloid fiasco.


• Pure Prattle has just got wind that Martha Stewart is in fact pregnant with Jon Stewart's child.


• The Mr. & Mrs. Smith producers needed to run the script by me first, but all in all it was a delightful romp, and by delightful I mean sexy, and by romp I mean rump.


• The Spice Girls did not get together for Live8 as hoped. Ginger Spice did flash her tits to the crowd however.


• Gay Rumor of the day: JC Chasez


• Brian from Stripsearch was on Elimidate and gave an A+ performance. He was making out, girls were rubbing him, he was saying cute things in the confessionals in that sexy southern drawl.... Anyway, Elimidate truly is a crazy show and everyone involved should be embarrassed. Bad Brian.