Stars, They're Just Like Us

• So Paris Hilton apparently pissed herself while waiting in line for the lady's room. Or is such a lazy rich snob that she now just expels her urine and feces and has people that clean it up and put a new Roberto Cavalli feather number on her while she just stands there.


• American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino is illiterate. But more importantly she's always leaving the god damn door open, is she trying to air conditioning the outside? jesus! was she raised in a barn?! Well that would explain the not being able to read.


• Hillary Duff's boyfriend Joel Madden is prone to hissy fits and had some mean things to say about Kelly Clarkson, whom he thought was saying bad things about Hillary Duff. A) Joel is in high school B) Kelly Clarkson is a robot engineered specifically to be sweet and nice all the time (sorta like Vicki from small wonder, only less sexy) so she couldn't have said anything about Ms. Duff. But I can. you look weird Hillary, I'm not sure what it is, but you look weird.


• Also in Paris news, the Pariseses have broken their engagement to the shock of the nation! So this was all a publicity stunt, oh Paris, I expected more from you. Paris is now engaged to Santa. Good power move Paris.


• You didn't hear it from me, but Kate Moss does coke.


• I hate Brtish celebrities. There I said it.