EB (expository bulletin)

• Commericals!

  There is this one commercial (so I like to blog about commercials, Whut?!) where this guy from a car dealership is driving this small girl around in the back on a van, and don't get me wrong it's an adorble commerical, but why is the kid taking a test-drive? As if a two-year old's input is important to the car buying process. If you think I am going to let my children make $30,000 decisions you're crazy.



• Innermost Thoughts

  It just hit me the other day that it's only at matter of time until we're all on a reality tv show. Who knows which one, that's basically the only thing left to ponder. I will eventually be on reality tv, i am thinking The Real World so that i can get on the Inferno, and maybe like a True Life: I'm a Slut or a Made where I want to do something I am clearly ill-suited for like being a construction worker. I did have that cameo on the Ashlee Simpson Show already, you know, that one where I smacked her in the face.



• Fake News Story

  TJ Maxx sells very last No Fear shirt, finally. "I thought they stopped making those in like '96" states one confused TJ Maxx shopper. "I heard Marshalls ran out of them six months ago!" comments another. But the proudest are the Maxx employees, Loretta Carson found the last sale to be personally inspirational, "When someone makes 4 millions terrible and ugly t-shirts getting rid of them all seems like an astounding feat, and we did it!" Congrats TJ Maxx, although there is a huge burnt pile of cloth behind the stores and I think some of the charred swatches had those cool flaming eyeballs on them...sounds suspicious!



• Celeb Wrap-Up

  Cameron Diaz, after all these years, finally gets punched in the face. And by none other than some no-name latin-spitfire with huge fake tits and a broke face. There truly is justice in this world and I think God is making it up to me for this whole "Christian Broadcasting Network" scandal.