This Just In: David Spade to Get Own Show

Oh God No!!

What is with David Spade anyways? He acts like he is this pimp or something, even though he is 4ft tall and has lustrous girl hair. As a matter of fact he is a spitting image of Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the only thing missing is those loud suits Carson always wears. Of coarse I am sure this new show will match the sophisticated comedy we have come to expect from Spade, let me guess... he is a creepy sex-addict that constantly hits on girls that are so far out of his league it becomes humorous.