How is "TomKat" Gonna Keep This Up?

Everyday I tune into a new report on how Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are incredibly weird. And now they are getting married, are you kidding me! Why are they blowing their load so early? What other strange things could they possibly come up with? Believing that aliens are the savior and that religion requires constant surveillance (and tons of money) is just the tip of the ice-berg. I mean this girl is a virgin (weird), had some sort of unexplainable mouth fungus (really weird) and ruins every movie/show she is a part of (now that's just sad). And him, where do I begin? First of all he needs to stop doing drugs during talk show interviews, secondly he needs to grow. And he practically held his own Bachelor to find Ms. Holmes, and then Katie was totally into it (which speaks volumes for her).

I know she has always had a fantasy crush on him, but fantasy is not reality. It would be like Brad from the Inferno tracking me down and forcing me to make love to him, sure it sounds great, but he would prolly call me "son" or fart or something and ruin the whole mytique. So here is my advice to Katie: "Grow-up you weird little girl and stopping having sex with your grandpa" and here is my advice to Tom: "Stop giving your money to a cult and stop being a pedophile and start being semi-normal again before you reach MJ creepy status."

That is all.