Goings on

• The voices of Piglet and Tigger both died basically at the same time this weekend. Death pack? I think so.


• Wal-mart heir dies in a plane crash. The plane seems to have crashed because it was purchased from Wal-mart.


• Paris Hilton's popularity seems to be dwindling recently. Even her over the top sluttiness is boring people, and now that she's getting married maybe her 15 hours of fame will finally be over, let us pray.


• Brad Pitt and Angelina are I guess in love for real. There are new intimate vacation photos appearing weeks after the release of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, so I doubt they are for promotion. Why don't these two love birds just admit that they have the hottest sex in the country already so we can all move on.


• Needent you worry about lil' Jen Aniston though, she is shacking up with Vince Vaughn! If, that is, he can stop making jokes about how he's scattered and flighty for long enough to insert the penis.


• Corey Clark embarrasses himself again! This time by having a food fight with his manager, his manager of coarse being a broom-stick he dressed up in a hat and his Dad's jacket.


• Bush's approval rating is going down people! What can he do? ...he could try condemning sodomites some more ...or douse the Bill of Rights with holy water ...of coarse he could try to get some of the democrats on his side and kill himself, I approve of that!!!


• Avril Lavigne gets engaged to that guy from Sum 41. Good idea you rich and young celebrities, get started on your string of failed marriages as early as possible.


• Marcus Houston, best known for his role as Roger on Sister Sister (right?), just might get naked for Playgirl! You can guarantee I will be following this story very closely and bringing you hourly "Marcus's shlong" updates. You're welcome.


• Also, Tom Cruise does some more weird stuff, but even I can't keep up with his crazy.