Is Your Refrigerator Running?....

Today is Veterans Day and I think we should take this time out to reflect back on the veterans and all those times they took care of out little pooches and pussy cats. We should also reflect back on the bill for those services. $868990 cuz my dogs ate some advil!!! This is ridiculous, I could buy another dog! Either vets need to lower their prices or my pets need to get a job. Now let us reflect....

• Boy is Janet Jackson fat! What the hell happened? How does someone in peak physical condition become one of those fat chicks that sweats just standing there and needs two seats on the bus, all overnight? Ga-ross Janet, you need to do something about this right away!


• So Paris's boyf -who I will refer to as "drunk driver or DD"- is a drunk driver. He smashed Paris's horse-drawn carriage into a parked car because he was all drunk. But he is rich so s'all good. I do sorta feel bad for DD though, it must be really hard to drunk drive with 23485389 paparazzi blanketing your vehicle. But the most disturbing part of this incident is that Laguna Beach's Talan was in the car. Now I don't know who this is, but he is on Laguna Beach which makes him a loser! Why is this loser so lucky as to hang with Hollywood's A-list? Normally I would say "huge cock" -which is the only explanation I can think of for other celebs hanging with losers, like Brit & K-Fed or Xtina and her boyf- but I doubt anyone on Laguna Beach even has a penis, just really big balls. They must if they have the nerve to show their faces in public after being on that awful awful show (sorry Danni!).


• Fergie will guest star on the Sopranos as a stripper undercover cop, who I bet will curse a lot. I hope she doesn't pee herself while stripping, that's not hot... well I dunno, straight guys help me out, is that hot?


• In other Paris news, (honestly that slut is such a tabloid whore she averages like 34654 scandals a day) Ms. Hilton has been prank phone calling Nicole Richie, who doesn't like people playin' on her phone! I guess prank phones are hot, they were totally out in the late 90s and early 00s when caller ID was everywhere, but I guess it's cool again! yes! I am so ordering my boss like 20 pizzas.